Friday, June 27, 2008

Wall-E is Lame-o

So there I was, in a theatre crowded with little children, eagerly waiting for my movie to start with the highest hopes of something as fabulous as Madagascar. I shovel fresh golden popcorn in to my mouth with one hand, and continuosly check my cell phone for the time with the other. Then, the house lights dim, and the exciting peeks. The screen dances to life with a short film about a magician. Its cute, I think, but all its doing is prolonging the time until Wall-E pops on the screen. And then, finally, the credits start and the crowd goes quite. Well, mostly. The little girl behind me keeps kicking my seat and screaming "WALL-E!." But I can relate, I'm excited too. I'll give her some slack. Then, we see Wall-E! There is Wall-E! I giggle as he manuvers through the filth and grime that surounds him. I chuckle while he sifts through his little treasures.

Then, about fifteen minutes in, he is still maneuvering through the filth and grime. And he is still sifting through his treasures. And I have stopped giggling. And I have stopped chuckling. The little girl behind me is still screaming "WALL-E! Look at Wall-E mom!" Over and over I hear her say his name. Mom doesn't ask her to be quite. No, that would be the polite thing to do. How could I expect a mother to keep their child quite? Instead I hear "Really sweetie?! What else do you see? Talk louder sweetie, I don't think the people in Mongolia have heard you yet sweetie..."

Its a half hour in to the movie. No change. Well, actually, there was a little change. They added an over-bearing and emotionally void robot named EV...

Almost an hour in to the movie and the agenda-pushing has made me vomit fresh golden popcorn all over the theatre floor. Don't worry, I'll blame it on the little girl behind me who is STILL yelling out "WALL-E!"

Its been over an hour in that crowded theatre and a plot has finally presented itself for my viewing pleasure. Unfortunately, its as strong as a sapling in a wind storm. Thats right, this little plot that has been nutured and helped to grow for the last hour and fifteen minutes has broken under any scrutiny. Needless to say, this is me by the time the movie is over.

*Please note the look on his face.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

I thought the movie would be good, too bad. Thanks for the advice!