Wednesday, June 18, 2008

10,000 BC....Worst Decade Ever

There I was, sitting in a smelly theatre owned by the fabulous Westates Whore-Town Theatres. Fortunately, we got the seat in front of the bar. Unfortunately, that is the only good thing I have to say. For those who are reading this and thinking "But I heard it was good!" I laugh at you. You fell for the joke. Us who were suckers enough to pay for a ticket to see this crapfest are trying to get a small amount of joy out of our experience by taking pleasure in the pain of others by telling them "it was amazing, as good as 300" so that you will see it and we can laugh at you for falling for it. So, to save you the $7, I will give you the cliff’s notes version so that you can get a pita from Pita Pit instead of wasting 2 hours. Smelly man’s tribe gets taken into captivity :-( Smelly man follows Bad Dirty Men over mountains and into forest where they get eating by "Ruddy Great Chickens" as Kiley called them. Black dudes join Smelly Man and take on Egyptians. Now the next part is very predictable, and I’ll tell you why. The Smelly Man and Black Dudes take down the Egyptians. This is predictable because the Egyptians made a huge mistake...Don’t try to keep a brother down. Man, please, you do not whip a borther, they will kill you. There was one scene that made it *almost* worth seeing....a Maddock...oh wait....a Mammoth passed sweet nothings via longing eye gazes to Smelly Man. It was really touching. Unfortunately for Mammoth, Smelly Man didn’t feel the same and instead went for the girl. Lame In addition, I want everyone to know that I knew more about world history from 10th grade world civ and my trip to the La Brea Tar Pits when I was 13 than the filmmakers. This leads me to believe that the film makers grew up in Kentucky and dropped out of school in 9th grade :)

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